❦ Transformation ❦

 

outdabayouheader

As I shed the darkness of the past,

I know that I must take care

To simultaneously allow the light of love

To fill vapid crevices.

That which has always been available

And yet so foreign

Calls out to me, urging me on.

As I wade through false judgment,

Bitter sarcasm, and ugly resentment;

Both inside and all around me…

I can only hope to reach that place

Of true light and beauty.

 

Is it reward I seek?

Or just the methodical disarticulation

Of a haughty ego?

Working my soul to the bone, I fight it,

But the rage within

Is taunted and teased.

The beast is festered,

Pure love its eternal nemesis.

Disappointment once again

Becomes my familiar ally,

Offering its enticing warmth ~

Like an old lover

Whose moves I know by heart.

I shall wrestle that beast ~

Take it on one last time,

As I search valiantly

For my salvation.

On that cold winter day

When the sky was the color of slate,

I gave you a part of myself

That I will never take back.

But much the same,

I cannot return to that place.

No, I won’t return

To the scene of the crime,

The place where you

So artfully deconstructed me

With the deftness

Of a surgeon’s scalpel…

Cuts so clean,

I never even felt them.

I won’t revisit old ghosts,

Haunting me from just a sliver

Beyond my reach.

I’ll disappear if I have to…

I’ll become that mistaken glimpse

Of a black figure

From the corner of your eye,

Against pristine walls

Or billowing soft clouds.

And, now, as I contemplate

This final resting place

Of my old friend (the beast),

It hits me…

Wrapped in your love,

I’ll probably disappear anyway,

Fading silently

Between drops of warm rain

On hot summer days

Or warm evenings on the bayou.

But all of that

Will be just fine, my love.

Because, without you,

What is the point of rainbows, anyway?


© 2016. KHP. All Rights Reserved.

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55 thoughts on “❦ Transformation ❦

  1. May your search some day yield the soul you seek. ^_^

    Beautiful poem by the way. 🙂

    I saw you posted and came on just to read. ^_^

    Sunday’s my day off…ish, which is why I don’t post and am generally not on WP that day.

    Back at it tomorrow though! ^_^

  2. Wow this is was deep full of emotion honesty pain and triumph of wanting to progress to better. I love love love it

  3. Not revisiting old ghosts resonated with me, KHP. It’s a crutch, though, as one relationship fails we seek the comfort of old, expired ones. Beautifully written, and thoroughly compelling.

  4. Or “J”…. 🙂 hehe…. I would love to follow you on your blog, but it’s asking for my email….is there a way I can follow you on WordPress w/o giving out my email address? I’m still new and learning….

    1. I don’t really know why It is asking for your email address. I thought you could just follow me by clicking the “FOLLOW” button. I’ll try to check that and let you know. I started last March and I’m not that expert myself, either. Stay in touch.

      1. I definitely will, but I really want to come to your blog and give comments and such…. it’s in your settings….

        Settings
        Discussion
        Other Comment Settings
        Deselect the top box which requires users to provide an email address
        Then save your settings.
        Refresh or log out then back in.
        The new setting should be immediate.

  5. Wow. So many different unstable emotions! I felt so crazy reading that… up, down, frustration, irrationale, insecurity, then extreme elation… whew, I’m extremely exhausted! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Reading, I had the feeling I had read it before. Then I encountered a “like” by moi. Don’t know if I did comment at the time. Yes It tells of a journey. Very observant on that trip, ride. It is a wonderful place to be in. You make connections with folk. Yes, they are correct to wish to learn from you. Enjoy this, continue. Apologize if I seem distanced. It’s a strange morning here. Az. But thanks for this piece again.

      1. Thanks and I’m moved to respond likewise. Generally I do well during emotional “seasons”. You seem to be on a mission (not mocking). So I suspect it sustains you. Yes to be more precise, I had a wonderful Holiday time (in spirit and in Spirit). It is so weird to see you “follow”, since I had no known you had stopped, IE our blogs were disconnected.

      2. Thanks for the query. Answer; Analyzing this piece I see someone (perhaps mistakenly; forgive if so) framing life, contrasting it with experience, finding a format (IE: writing, poetry, prose) artistic yet at the same time leading self and some out of the dark. Out of the vestures life equips us with. Protocols. Really I am not condescending, just glad for you that you occupy self with this worthy pastime. I am not sure if I have clarified the “mission” aspect. Thanks for you time. But why is it that you rejoined my blog. When did you leave? Did I post something not in concord with your ideals?

  7. Oh this is sad. Ghosts are ghosts for a reason, learn from the past but always look forward. Top writing J. 🙂

  8. Hey, you. I love this one (and you…😉). Probably one of my favorites (and you are, too…😊). ❤️

    Tried to call….😘 Hope you’re ok. x

  9. Dear JM
    I read this and felt the pain in you, the dark and yet the hope. Please don’t disappear from here. You are loved and cherished here.
    I hope for you JM Dear, the light of love, the joy of happiness, the peace of tranquil thoughts, and salvation sought.

  10. I feel ya, miss. And, I miss ya feel. Woot! See? Do you SEE what I did there?
    I’m playing, girl. I love this piece. A treasure map, a labyrinth, a morass of pain, strength, beauty, and love. ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

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